It began with me buying some conditioner for my hair, which came in a cool, ancient, purple potions bottle with gold trim. The sales associate realized they were all out of this conditioner in back and so she gave me the one in the locked display case. For the rest of the dream, her boss (who resembled Stromboli from Pinocchio) was trying to get it back because, apparently that particular bottle actually contained a magic potion of some kind that people had been killing each other to get for as long as the world was!
I, realizing that this bottle possessed great power and musn't fall into the wrong hands (like Stromboli's), buried the bottle in my backyard at home. Bowser kept digging it up and I'd have to re-hide it, aand all the time I lived in fear of someone finding it because strange men were constantly breaking into our house in search of it.
One day, someone actually did get it! But when he opened it, he realized that it was only regular conditioner because Jack Sparrow had switched the bottles at some point and was sailing away with the real thing. He was in cahoots with Carmen SanDiego, who brewed the potion and shared it with everyone who'd been trying to find it. What the potion did, I learned, was make it possible for a person to move at lightning speed (in other words, turn into vampires). This was important because it would save them time in finding a great buried treasure which was the real goal. But, Carmen SanDiego let me in on a little secret - she'd given everyone watered down potion and drunk it straight herself. Then she zoomed away faster than anyone else.
Somehow, in the end everyone was getting baptized and I woke up super pumped to get to work.